A Night to Remember
by Shadow of the Fire Bird
Summary: A roleplaying venture quickly unravels into utter chaos filled with blood, gore, swearing, and name calling. Find out what happens when a friend and I get really bored one school night. My inner Kaiba's in for a rough ride.


Ok, this is what happens when two people stay up way too late doing math problems and are fatigued and bored. My friend the thiefshipper and I started texting each other as different characters from Yugioh and Hellsing Abridged.

Our story begins with me complaining about the sheer lack of reviews on my Yugioh fanfic…

Me- I was surprised. Seventeen people have visited it already but I've only gotten one review. All it said was 'neat.'

The Thiefshipper- Yeah, that happens. And the review wasn't me. I haven't gotten time to read it, but I will ASAP.

Me- I know it wasn't you. I was someone who likes Yugioh GX as that was their username. I guess that explains the unoriginality in their review.

Pegasus: OOOOH Sick burn, Kaiba-boy!

Kaiba- I'd thank you but I'm extremely rich.

Pegasus- Oh come now, Kaaaaaiba. Don't be that way.

Kaiba- What way? This is the way I always am.

Pegasus- Loosen up a little, Kaiba-boy. I don't bite.

Kaiba- I know. What you do is WAAAY worse.

Pegasus- Then why don't you find out?

Kaiba- No thanks, I'm not a very huggy person.

Pegasus- Well then, don't hug. We can just watch the SPICE GIRLS THE MOVE

Kaiba- Oh god. Where's my Blue Eyes White Dragon Jet. Must escape.

Alucard- Oh that tacky thing? I tried to paint it red but I didn't have enough goat blood so I just scraped it.

Kaiba- What the hell? What happened to you, Pegasus? Your skin's so pale, your hair's black, and you suddenly have fashion sense!

Alucard- Pegasus? Who the f**k is Pegasus? Ooooh, THAT guy. Yeah, he barged into my room and tried to kill me with that golden eye, but you know how that song and dance goes.

Kaiba- I don't even know what's going on any more. But I suppose I should thank you. By the way, have you ever met a guy named Bakura? Something tells me you two would get along.

Alucard- I did once but something about a pointy rod at my chest told me he was taken by some Egyptian chick.

Kaiba- That's a dude...I think. Mokuba, that's a dude, right? I don't waste my time with Yugi's dweebs so I wouldn't know.

Alucard- Yeah now that I think about it, he did have some pretty sick abs. But that hair, it was basically defying gravity. What was the dude's name? Melvin?

Kaiba- Search me

Alucard- Yeah, not bothering those guys again.

Kaiba- Good idea, I made the mistake of giving them my address. They keep sneaking into my bathroom…And my number.

Alucard- That's pretty freaky, even by my standards. But, look on the bright side, IT'S ORIENTATION DAY!

Kaiba- Oh, okay. Do you want my French employees? They only seem to be good for not bathing and smoking cigars. I am Seto Kaiba and I enjoy stereotypes.

Alucard- No, man. There's no way we are scarping that deep into the barrel. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go tilt every painting down the main hallway. I'm handing the phone to Marik.

Kaiba- No, no, no, don't do that!

Marik- HELLLOOOOOO KAIBA!

Kaiba- Shit

Marik- Oh Kaiba, you know you're happy to be talking to me: the great Marik Sebastian Ishtar the third!

Kaiba- I don't do_ happy_. I'm too rich for that.

Marik- Maybe you will be happy if I sing you a little song! THEEE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW!

Kaiba- No! Don't sing orphan songs!

Marik- Oh right, I forgot you're adopted.

Kaiba- Shut up.

Marik- Must…Not…Make…Orphan joke.

Kaiba- No, you shouldn't or I'll get your creepy day (although he isn't as creepy as Pegasus) to tan you're backside…Speaking of Pegasus, I wonder if he's still that vampire.

Marik- Pegasus was killed by Alucard. It was really scary. AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION, MY DAD IS DEAD BECAUSE I KILLED HIM BECAUCE I, MARIK ISHTAR, TAKE PITY ON NOONE.

Kaiba- NOONE You also can't spell. That aside, I should probably get Mokuba to clean up all that blood. I'd do it myself but I'm extremely rich.

Marik- God Kaiba, it was just a typo in my fit of uncontrollable rage. And yes, the blood is starting to smell. Kind of like Bakura's room after a night of 'playing.'

Kaiba- Ugh, I don't need to hear about what you two do in Bakura's bedroom at night.

Marik- I WASN'T TALKING ABOUT ME, YOU SICKO! AND BESIDES, I'M NOT GAY!

Kaiba- Sure, and I secretly do happy twirls when no one's looking…Shit, I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!

Marik- GAHAHAHAHAH EVIL BLACKMAIL!

Kaiba- I'm not worried. You don't know how to send regular mail let alone black mail. You know you sent those black pineapples to me and not Yugi, right? Were those supposed to be grenades?

Marik- I…I have no idea what you're talking about. I have no knowledge of such pineapple grenades.

Kaiba- Sure, sure. Can you go away now? I can already feel my brain cells melting into the carpet. This is worse than talking to that Wheeler dog.

Marik- Fine. Jerk. I'm handing the phone to Bakura.

Kaiba- Great, the limey.

Bakura- Oh, I'm sure you can come up with a better insult than that, Annie.

Kaiba- How about walking kitty fluffy cream puff vampire reject?

Bakura- Add some punctuation why don't you? I can't bloody understand what you're saying.

Kaiba- I'm too rich for punctuation.

Bakura- But obviously not wealthy enough for a third grade English teacher.

Kaiba- I'm a child prodigy. I didn't need any teachers. I bet a little homeless thief like you can't even read.

Bakura-In case you haven't noticed, I'm inside the body of an English student enrolled in school. I assure you, I can read fine.

Kaiba- On a different subject, can you come clean up Pegasus's blood. Your girlfriend said you like that kind of stuff.

Bakura- Hey! He's _not_ my girlfriend! And though the thought does give me tingles, I'm going to have to decline. Ryou says it might give us HIV. And I don't doubt him, with all the sex Pegasus has had.

Kaiba- No comment.

Bakura- And you would know, wouldn't you? Pegasus has had his eye on you forever. I bet that's why he started texting you in the first place.

Kaiba- Ugh, don't remind me. Glad that vampire took care of him. Seems killing people's a lot more efficient way than firing them.

Bakura- True, true but the clean up's a bitch.

Kaiba- I can see that. I guess I could get Mokuba to do that. By the way, do you know of any treatment for Japanese puberty? Mokuba thinks he's a Pokemon.

Bakura- Not sure, I think it has something to do with blindness and rude nurses.

Kaiba- You know, we should probably get off the subject of Pokemon. I have the sudden urge to squint my eyes and profess my love to some nurse.

Bakura- You should probably see a doctor about that. Could be serious. Unfortunately, I must hand the phone back to Nicole. She's going on about talking to Bridget.

Kaiba- I see. Cheery o, I suppose. Yeah, Bridget's still on this fanfiction website. *Cringe. I'll give the phone to her.

The Thiefshipper- Bridget? Are you there? It's Nicole. I finally got my phone back. It's been a crazy night.

Me- I can see that. There's blood everywhere. I think we can both agree that we shouldn't pass our phones around like that. It got messy real fast.

The Thiefshipper- True, true. But I have to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow. I have math to do.

Me- Have fun with that. Maybe Kaiba can help you.

The Thiefshipper- TTYL

Me- TTYL

END

Wow, tapping into my inner Kaiba was easier than I thought. I guess we're more alike than originally believed. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this game of role play musical chairs. Be sure to check out my buddy the Thiefshipper's Death Note fic _The Case of the Wammy Kids_ and my own Yugioh fanfic _The Mirror Image_. Also, I truly do appreciate you're review iloveyugiohGX93.

Well, that's all she wrote (or texted)

Signed, Shadow of the Fire Bird.


End file.
